Recently a random guy read my blog and sent me a message on Facebook complimenting me on a recent post.
I had no idea how this guy had stumbled upon my blog. Because he contacted me on Facebook I thought perhaps we had a mutual Facebook friend so I checked it out. No mutual friends. I even went so far as to look through all his friends. I didn't know any of his friends and besides, he lives in Northern California. Nowhere near me. So, then I asked him how he'd come upon my blog and he said that he saw in on SheWrites.com where I re-post.
He also said that he had tried contacting someone on the SheWrites site because he was looking for a female collaborator for a book. I admit, it piqued my interest. So, I googled this random guy and he writes for a police website and is a former cop. He seemed legit.
For about a minute I thought I might be interested in writing with him. No one had ever approached me to co-write before and I thought it might be a cool idea. He suggested we write either a novel or a screenplay.
That's when I knew I was in trouble.
For one, I'm not a big fan of the novel. Unless it's really good and has been recommended by someone I know and who's taste I trust, when it comes to novel reading - I don't do it. I much prefer non-fiction. And when it comes to writing a novel, I wouldn't have the foggiest idea on what to do or where to begin. Oh, I know from English class you can add foreshadowing and you're supposed to have an arc and a beginning, middle and an end, but I wouldn't even know how to get started. But trust me when I tell you I'm not egotistical enough to think I have a best-selling novel in me.
Or screenplay, for that matter.
I remember years ago, when I thought I might want to someday write a screenplay. My mother introduced me to the sister of someone she knew who was a professional writer in Hollywood. I was living in L.A. and the woman was kind enough to meet me for lunch and allow me to pick her brain on screenwriting. She had managed to get to a place where she was successful and it had taken years. It took her writing seven scripts before she sold one. Did you hear me? I said seven.
To me, it also seems arrogant - and why don't we add stupid into the mix - to think I could collaborate with this random dude who has never sold a script and write a screenplay that would sell. I knew it was a bad idea when I mentioned to him that I was having misgivings about writing a screenplay and he didn't understand why. It's amazing how many people think they can write a script and sell it. I have friends who are writers and I know it isn't easy. And, I happen to know diddly about writing a script of any kind.
But a funny thing did happen, something that I did not see coming. From blogging and writing these posts, an idea for a non-fiction book has emerged, quite to my surprise. For now, I'm not sharing the idea. I'm just going to write the thing and see where it goes. The other day I was feeling inspired and wrote the preface and the first four chapters all in one fell swoop. The inspiration has seemed to have temporarily dried up. I'm hoping the rest of the book will come to me. I'm trying to be patient and trust the creative process that the rest of the book comes. But really, it's out of my control.
Today I was reading "The Funny Times" and came upon something particularly amusing by the humorist Dave Barry. I then looked for the article online to repost and it led me to his website, where I read something by a screenwriter. It made me realize that I did the right thing, turning down the offer to write a screenplay that is "sure to sell" with someone without a track record. It was written by a screenwriter named Josh Olson and it's called "I Will Not Read Your Fucking Script." If you want to read it, click here.
Incidentally, I mentioned this random guy approaching me to several friends and a few came back saying they had a bad feeling about him. Even my Dad said he thought something was fishy. Another friend went so far as to say she thought he could be harmful. Note to friends and family for future reference: please speak up and do so in a timely manner. If you think something bad could happen, don't wait a week to check in to see if I'm still alive. I'm just sayin.'
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