When I was in college I met David. He had a winning personality and it didn't hurt that he was attractive. Gregarious is an understatement. He can schmooze the pants off of anybody, and small talk is most definitely his forte.
We were initially attracted to each other way back when and he asked me out. We had one date.
Since it was so long ago, the only part of the evening I clearly remember is him inviting me back to his place (I'm assuming he took me out to dinner somewhere first) to show me "Bambi Meets Godzilla," an animated short, in which after just a few short minutes our beloved Bambi gets squashed by Godzilla. David thought it was hilarious and I remember how excited he was to show it to me. I have to admit, I thought it was pretty funny.
That was over 20 years ago. In fact, it was nearly 25 years ago. Gasp. Where in the world has the time gone?
Because I was young and stupid, I agreed to David's request to become friends with benefits after he decided he wasn't interested in dating me. I put up with it for a while, until I decided that the person this relationship was benefitting was him and I removed sex from the equation. Our friendship didn't suffer or falter, and we were the best of friends. The best of friends, I suppose, that a man and woman can possibly be. We've all seen When Harry Met Sally. He would talk about his subsequent girlfriends and I would listen. I supposed I talked to him about the men I dated, but really, I can't remember.
What I can remember, is there got to a point in our friendship, about a year after I graduated that I decided I was through with the friendship. It wasn't serving me at all. In fact, I felt like the friendship was on his terms entirely and I was tired of the dynamic. While I wasn't overly familiar with the term narcissistic or Axis II personality disorders back in 1994, I knew I needed a break from David.
He was obsessed with women, and not just any women. He was always looking for a woman who was the best in at least one area i.e. the smartest, best looking, most accomplished. You get the idea. While I was rather average, or maybe above average, in most areas - I didn't come close to the perfection he was seeking. Perhaps that's why he wasn't interested in dating me. I was just your run of the mill nice girl who wasn't bad to look at. Mind you, I'm not knocking myself. It's just that what David was looking for was always a superlative and that was not me.
Ten years after I ended our friendship, I started looking back at our relationship through rose colored glasses and wondered if he was the one that got away. Silly me. Time can be sneaky that way. After not being able to shake the thought of him for a month straight, I remember the day like it was yesterday - at month's end - and will never forget it, because frankly it was spooky. I was standing in front of the mirror in my bathroom in my apartment thinking: "I'd really like a boyfriend." Then, boom, the phone rang. It was David. We hadn't seen each other or spoken in 10 years and he said he'd found me online.
I couldn't believe it. My therapist at the time, who would turn out to be a complete idiot, encouraged me to get excited over David and even suggested that he could be the one. He and I chatted on the phone for a while and then he suggested we meet for lunch, soon. He bragged about owning his own advertising agency as well as his brand new BMW.
When I arrived at his office for lunch, on time, he kept me waiting for half an hour. I was pissed. I was tired of waiting and had been licked to death by his dog and thought it rude that he kept me waiting for so long. I made a semi-snarky remark that since he'd kept me waiting, I was expecting he'd take me to Spago for lunch. He laughed and said no, we'd be going to an Italian cafe down the street and we'd be taking the dog.
So, me, David and his gargantuan greyhound traipsed down the street to an outdoor cafe in which there wasn't enough room for the dog at all, but that was classic David. Over lunch, he reminded me why I ditched him as a friend 10 years prior. To make a long story short: it was all about him, ad nauseum. He bragged over lunch about the 21 year old Asian girl he was banging and he didn't lower his voice at all. I was supremely embarrassed and couldn't wait for lunch to be over and escape back to my life which all of a sudden wasn't looking so bad.
For some reason, we are Facebook friends. Yesterday, I noticed it was his birthday so I wished him a happy one. He just turned 46. I know this, because I'll be 44 later this year. When I went onto his profile page to respond to his response to my Happy Birthday message, I nearly fell over. There was a photo of him. His hair is long and his muscles are so pumped he looks like he's on steroids. And, that's not all. His girlfriend, who's in the photo with him, doesn't look legal.
I really needed to vent today. It's been rough. While I know that nobody loves the idea of aging, I mean really?? Where is the sense of propriety?
Oh, right. I guess there isn't any.
When I was young and naive, and oh say 20, I wondered if we might wind up together. Today's reminder while walking down memory lane was a rude awakening that not only will it never happen, and really, I'm okay with that, but also that some men just don't grow up. While whining to my friend Sharon today, she reminded me that I could play the Cougar card if I wanted to. Uh, no thanks. For me, it's just too distasteful. I can't do it. I'd rather wait around for an older guy. Hopefully, there's one out there for me who isn't too decrepit. God, can I just meet him while I still have my eyesight?
Oh, and if you're wondering, like the song, if this blog post is about you? Yes, it most definitely is.
No comments:
Post a Comment