What to do when you get Bupkis for Christmas

Ahhh...the holidays. Such a letdown, aren't they? All that hype, and for what? In the spirit of holiday angst, I pose the following question: what do you do when you put time and energy into gifting others (in my case it's one person in particular who I'm expected to give a gift to) with something they want (in my case I knew what to buy; I was given instructions) only to get bupkis from said demanding person. Don't worry, this is a rhetorical question. I just need to vent. No need for you to answer.

What if this person is a family member and I'm expected to give them a gift for the rest of our lives, until one of us dies? You may be wondering, if you're not a Jew, what bupkis is anyway? Well, let me tell you. Bupkis is a Yiddish term for something with little to no value, nada, diddly, zero. Yeah.

While I'm tossing Yiddish words around, let me take a moment to enlighten my Jewish friends on a sensitive subject. You may think, due to my last name, that I'm a real, tried and true Jew. I'm here to disappoint you. As you know, I have a Jewish last name thanks to dear old Dad. However, according to the Jewish religion, I'm no good. My Irish mother was raised Catholic and because both of my parents are pretty much anti-organized religion and my mother wouldn't even dream of converting, I was raised religion-less - a pagan, really. I know probably as much about the Jewish faith as any sap on the street. So sorry.

While I'm not Jewish, there are some Yiddish words that sound so good, such as bupkis and drek (which means trash or rubbish; doesn't it just sound so right?), that I feel compelled to use them. Oh, and if you've wished me a Happy Hannukah in the past, don't feel bad! I'm surely not poo-pooing your wishes. I'm glad to have them and appreciate any good tidings for a holiday, whether by text message, email or a card. Some people in this world aren't so lucky and I feel truly grateful for all I have in my life, especially my friends. Now back to crappy Christmas presents.

Really, I feel like a fool even spewing on about this, when the spirit of Christmas shouldn't be about greed at all. It should be about loving kindness and charity, right? Greed is awful. It brings out the worst in us. Just like the poor guy hanging onto the roulette table as if he's strapped to it for dear life, it does bad things to us. It makes us dissatisfied with what we have and we just want more. And "The Secret" doesn't help. As if it's not bad enough that our crazy, consumerist culture doesn't encourage us to value the simple things in life, such as a blade of grass, it brainwashes us to want to keep up with the Joneses (or the Schwartz's) and just want, want, want. It's disgusting, really. Blech.

Back to the bupkis. So, what do you do when you feel slighted by receiving a gift that may have been re-gifted (no crime; I've been known to do it) in the wrong spirit of gift giving or worse - when there is no thought involved at all which I'll call post-lobotomy gift giving. The secret to re-gifting is to give the re-gifted item to someone who might actually want it and then you've done something good.

What to do? Well, you could ban gift giving to that person and say no more! Stop! Or you could agree to both give to charities in honor of the other person. Nice, right?  It really is so terrible that we're so greedy as culture, isn't it? Shocking, really. But don't tell anyone that I'm failing to take personal responsibility here and won't admit that I'm really just being a big baby whining about what I consider to be a less than adequate gift. It's not like I really need anything, anyway.

Everyone says, "it's the thought that counts." But what do you do when the lack of thought makes you want to put an end to gift giving all together? You could buy or make a voodoo doll and stick pins in the head of the offending person and hope for the best. Or, you could write about in on your blog and try not to sound too pathetic. Or you can take action. I'm all for being proactive....you know "be the solution." We're all ninja warriors here, right?

It's funny (not in a ha, ha funny type of way) that the person who gave me bupkis, was also the person to offer a solution to the problem. The irony! If there is someone in your life, who you are required to play the gift-giving game with, and up till now it's been less than rewarding, then maybe my solution will help. Are you ready???

Drumroll, please...

You can come up with a wish-list. Not just any old wish-list, in fact. Thanks to Amazon.com, you can create for yourself a wish-list and share with those who need to know that you now mean business. I know, it may seem a tad obnoxious to provide someone with a list of things you want, as if bridal and baby registries aren't bad enough, but if there's someone in your life that needs more than a hint and it's appropriate, then why not give it to them?

I say go for it! Be obnoxious! I hope you get what you want in 2011. If not, there's always the booze.